nice pic? .. hahax.. just using it for my blogskin.. =) 

comet shot .. nice eh ? 

russell bro.. he'e like an idiot .. hahax... 

my fuzzy, little brother .. hahax.. 

cute piggy wearing MY SPECS !! 

new haircut ? hahax.. 

in the car my sister .. 

my sister... on her birthday .. cute eh ? a bit *goofy* though 

Just me testing out my new phone .. a bit bored though .. hahax.. 

Funky. Cheeky that's me... hehex... 

my dad in a restaurant, with customers... not many times he's in his black jacket, but this is one of the few times.. 

my idol. =) avril rox. 

My sister scared of the sculpture.. wonder she's scared of me or not.. hehex... 

this is the best photo .. yes.. she is held ransom .. and the gun ?.. my kiss ! .. hahax.. she likes this pic too.. wonder why dearie.. 

it was the centre line.. but well.. memories are for keeps.. so yes.. she's so lovely .. hands off for any one.. 

nice picture of both of us.. she's trying to play a fool though .. naughty naughty .. hehex. 

lovely picture of both of us, but well, we are kinda made for each other .. so yes.. in love we are.. 

10-page essay.

What am I thinking? Correction : What was I thinking? To stumble upon on a former girlfriend of mine website, causing nothing but chaos for the other parties involved. It was completely absurd, out of my mind, crazy, mad, etc. I could not think straight and thus returning the reliable pen and paper before putting it on screen. Guess nothing will change the fact, but to hell with it, I'll continue writing here.

First, as always, apologies. Phoebe : I'll have to write this 10-page essay and post it on my blog, to repent my sins or give up the idea that she is now attached to someone else, not me. This idea is kind of stubborn, like you (*wink*), but I tried for a year, and will continue to fight against it. For I treasure the relationship we both share, and no matter what, I'll try to keep it as long as I can.

Trisha : Please forgive me for being clueless about the stuff that is bothering you right now. In short, I cannot be the younger, yet more mature brother to you right now, like I used to, comforting you as much as I possibly can. Jeffrey is a close friend, but if both of you are fated to meet, well, you two will meet in the future again. Yes, cliche as it sounds, but let go just a little, just as your little brother tried and is still trying to do to someone mentioned later. Absence do make the heart grow fonder, but out of sight will make the pain more bearable, less painful, okay?

This list might go on and on and fill up the ten pages, but no, not today. These pages will mainly be devoted to my thoughts, feelings, actions and so on. Romance and teenage heartbreaks will be the main dishes served. Appetiser? My life. Well, not exactly an appetiser, but a long introduction to what might turn up the next ten pages. Funny, isn't it, on how determined a person is when he strives to accomplish something. Pens might run out here, but it will be all in good effort and result. This is after all, my blog, isn't it?

My life, in short, an eventful one and are that is decorated with cane marks and prizes. (Though, I suspect, my canemarks far outweigh the prizes.) In spite of the numerous obstacles, I will try to bring you a brief insight of my life, which has seen many ups and downs, all in the period of 16 years.

Top on the menu is my proclamation of my faithfulness to my family. No matter what happens to them, I will protect them through and through. Yes, not many people have this filial piety character and all, but my family has this. No matter what, United we stand, Divided we fall.

Further background on my life, and for your information, I'm a Pernankan, which means Straits Chinese. I stand different among the people of this over-populous world, and many people recognized that. My veins flow the Pernankan blood, and I'm am as Pernankan as Queen Elizabeth is British. Though not exactly a pure blood Pernankan, I have to say that I am in truth a Pernankan. As an old saying goes, a drop of royal blood in your veins make you a royal. So, in short, I'm a Pernankan. That's the average thing about me, so if you want to know more,please ask !

Onto the thrid page of my essay, I have come to realise that it would be better if things were placed in one seperate title, but due to the lack of time I have, I will organize that later.

I will pass the topic of family heritage. More will be added to it, but that will be soley be the place for my family heritage and blood line. (Notice I have not added the topic of family, or inrtoduce my family yet. This will appear later.)

Hmmm, the topic of romance, or more specifically teenage romance, will be touched on here. It encompasses the many crushes, that I have or the rest of it. The people invovled in here has really touched, impacted, hurt, broke,plastered, glued, impressioned, and enlightened my heart. Unbelieveable, but true, this is a side of me. (To those who don't really know me, I'm kinda like a sentimental person.)

I will, start from Primary Six. Funny, isn't it? From such a young age, I have a crush on a girl. That was the year when I was the head-prefect of the primary school. (What ? I was a head-prefect before? [YES, idiot.] )

News...

I'm setting up a new blog, because I knew that sec 4 is a busy year for me at least. So, I'll have my thoughts on a new weekly basis, okay ? Sorry guys...

Love Actually, The Movie

Place : Cineleisure. Date : 3rd December. Movie : Love Actually. Feeling : Excited. Person I asked out (Date) : Mei Yun.

I was really anxious before this movie. First of all, when I won the season pass for the movie, and the soundtrack, Daniel Ong reassured me that every girl wanted to watch this movie. Well, I was apprehensive at first, because I did not want my mother to scream at me for watching a movie with a girl. But behold, she said she was alright with it and I was *free*.

Then came the most difficult part. Trisha (my da jie) said she got two free tickets, and wanted to give them to me. She wished me good luck for the movie because everyone she asked wasn't free on that night. The movie was 7pm, and people were all NOT free. So, I got the tickets from her, and voila, was left with the task of asking a girl out.

Problem was, everyone wasn't free! The only person that was free was Mei Yun, and thus we landed up meeting each other in Sengkang MRT, and what a relief, not to see anyone I know there! Then we talked and talked on the MRt like never before, like old friends once again...

(to be continued)..

-[Ground-breaking News ... From the author of this blog himself ...]-

Yes, for once I have something important to say. The truth about things. The things that are around me.

Yes, I using this oppourtunity to apologise to some people, and to say what I think about things. However, as I have little time for the first one, I will do the latter first.

Yes, I have read Edwina's blog, and I have reluctantly let go of her. She was the first love that I had, and I have great difficulty letting go of her, not to say about forgetting her and let the past be. However, I have to be realistic, and she is already away, with someone else more capable of giving her the security she needs. Well, to Edwina, thank you, and I'll be your friend forever. =)

I have been thinking about love, and after Lova Actually the movie, I was inspired about love. However, come to think about it, I will leave love, as it is, to the time is right, because Love Actually comes when you least expected it. To the certain girl, I will be your kor, and will be protecting you as that. After the o-levels then I'll see what happens, okay ?

Thinking of the perfect girl ... *Wishful thinking*

Yeah, this is the second time that I'm in the room, writing a piece of blog entry. Well, at least this time, it's a totally different mood from the previous 'In the room' entry. I have been thinking it over, after being rejected and accepted by girls so many times, maybe it is time to do a requirement list. ( Okay, it is not bias, but a guy is entitled to his thoughts on his blog right ? *LOL* This entry has no particular reference to anyone at all. ) I suppose there are a couple of points to be said and written down over here ...

*The Perfect One... (Par Excellence)

Understanding ...

She has to be understanding, if not extremely. This character is very important in any relationship, because in any relationship, if one party is not understanding, there bound to be misunderstandings over little incidents. So, both parties have to be understanding, no matter what the thing is.

Loving ...

What's the point of not being loving in a relationship ? Defeats the purpose right ? She has to be loving, and truly loving, not loving with an ulterior motive or a black heart. ( She might have to be loving only towards me, or else... A wandering eye is not accepted. =) )

Intellectual ...

I find no point in getting a 'dumb blonde'. ( This word here is used as a metaphoric meaning only, so I apologise if it offended anyone.) To create the right conversation, on point in getting a less witty girl.

Strong-headed ...

This girl has to be opinionated and strong-headed. Yes, I like my girls this way. It is so much better having them able to be making a stand for themselves, and it might cause sparks in the relationship. ( Yes, I like girls who are this way.) However, the girl cannot be too 'soft' or too demanding or stubborn.

Inner Beauty

Well, a girl need not have so much of an outer beauty, but it is the inner character that really attracts me. Maybe I look also on the outer beauty, but sincerely speaking, what really counts is the inner beauty.

(to be continued later...)

Oh, to a certain girl out there. I do not recognise the fact that you are not worthy for me, but you are simply the most wonderful of all people. I'll be right here waiting for you ...

Sorry ...

The last few days my internet was down, and so was my computer, so I had to write all my entries on paper. So, if you really feel that my pieces are a bit slow, or are not there at all, it is not your fault, but mine. Sorry.

* Too serious too soon ...

I'm sitting in my room with a wrenched heart. My mind is deep in thought, as I hear songs (eg. Too Serious Too Soon, So Yesterday ) in the radio. These songs might be used to describe one when he / she is in a heartbroken feeling, and it only fits what is going through on the surface of my heart. I'm not too sure if I'm doing the right thing by writing this down, but this is what I feel right now.

This piece of entry is based on the reflections I have of my year, though it has yet to finish. However, I'm writing what has happened in the past, and I hope that maybe one day I maybe able to look back and say,' Boy, that was one nice memory.'

I was inspired to write this piece after some deep thinking, and some mixed feelings that I have in my heart. I have some proud moments, but some lingering guilt in me. The only way to confess these 'sins' is to say them out I suppose. The reason is simply because I believe I have to put these things in the right perspective.

First, I have to confess some big sins, big enough to be crimes. These sins are done to some people, and these people have cared about me in a way or another, directly or indirectly. This results in being too high-handed, and too egotistical. I thought my way was right, and did a couple of things that shocked you out of your wits.

To my mother, sorry. I have let you down in a lot of ways. Maybe I have not been able to hear and understand clearly what you have repeatedly said, but I guess being myself, I only knew it now. I have missed the chance to repent my mis-deeds, or to undo my wrong doings. I guess being the eldest son of this family have a lot of bearing, and a lot of things to do, and to see to it. I'm trying to be more open about things and more communicative. That is what I'll must achieve in the future, and this is my promise.

To my dad, who have the ultimate right to be strict and disciplined, you are my idol. Not many people can live up to your reputation, lest your son here. I'll try to be more disciplined about things, and more understanding about life outside. It's tough out there, and I believe it will be hard to survive, but I will.

To my siblings, who are the precious people in my life, you are the people who I am assigned the task to lead. Yes, to lead you all in the right direction, which I will. I will try to help you, and help you I will. You all are too precious for me to waste, and I will guard you all.

To Jacqueline, I apologise over the countless of mistakes I have done to you in the past. The only thing I ask is for your forgiveness in replying me just in a single email or sms. I will treasure you as part of my memory, the beautiful times we had.

To Edwina, my best friend, I will treat you very close, and hope you will treat me likewise. I will be attending your party, and I promise to make you happy. Very happy indeed. Just smile for me. Can you?

To Christine, I hope someday down the lane you will change your mind over my question, because I wish it was so. I prefer to remain as friends and not anything else. Yeah, I was stupid and crazy, but, sincerely speaking, I wish we would remain as friends.

To other people who I have not named above, I apolgise in whatever mistakes I have committed, and wish for major forgiveness. I have changed, and I wished it will be for better, not for worse.

*WAIT* ....

I AM GOING TO WAIT. I DON'T CARE. I FEEL A BURNING SENSATION INSIDE OF ME, AND IT HURTS. IT HURTS !!! ALL BECAUSE I HAVE DONE A STUPID IMMATURE MISTAKE. STUPID MISTAKE. REALLY STUPID MISTAKE. CAN YOU JUST WAIT FOR A MOMENT ?

Pal, guess the best that I can do is to wait. To be a best friend to you that's all.

Back from gold coast ... ~Yeah

I'm back from gold coast and I'm feeling over the moon. 6 days of non-stop R & R, where I was in paradise. (Not to mention I was living in Surfer's Paradise.) Yeah, gold coast was fun, and I really missed the place there.

Okay, just to inform you what we did. Simple, I went to Movie World, Sea World, and a BIG SHOPPING MALL, Pacific Fair. Quite nice, quite pretty, and that's where i I got majority of my stuff for certain people. Nice it was, it was just simply paradise. Dolphins, BUGS BUNNY, DAFFY DUCK, sea lions, Roller Coaster Rides, etc etc. It was beyond imagination.

Okay, in gold coast, I did some serious thinking. Maybe I was heading in a wrong direction in Singapore. Maybe I was too muddle-headed. Maybe I was too artificial. Thus, I did some kick-ass ( In Australia, this word is normal ) thinking. I wrote these few things down.

The few things I need to change : ( IN ORDER OF PRIORITY )

* Studies. It is very important, due to the fact that I have slacked too much. I could have done better, but I have achieved only what I have put in. You reap only what you sow, and this can never be truer. Studies is the only thing that more than 98 % of the people can excel in it, and since I have done it once, I can do it again.

* Self. My outer self have to change, and I'm trying. Hard, maybe, but I'll try. My inner self, is undergoing a huge change, so you might be expecting a new me.

In Deep Thoughts...

After a whole 2 days of non-stop thinking, I have came up with these statements :-

* The world is definitely unfair.
* People are biased.
* You only can change your own thinking.

Then I came up with a huge list of promises. The list goes..

* Concentrate on studies. Fully.
* No *dirty* thoughts or things that lead to that.
* No thinking of copulation / menage a trois.
* Girls are different, no point chasing them now.
* Rest & Relax during holiday.
* Smile more.
* Be yourself.
* Exercise.

Well, these are the main ones, so ... You guys want to help me? Add in my comments box... Thanks. =)

Current Mood ~ Dreamy.

I have been in a dreamy mood today. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or after a bad dose of cough mixture. I don't know, but right now I am dreamy and hearing the song ~ 'Can't take my eyes off you'.

I went back to school for Physics and Chemistry lessons. Pity 3E3 people, they have to carry their chairs to my class for joined chemistry lessons. It was supposed to be held at the AVA room, but it was booked by someone else. ~Too bad.

Funny, I always can think what the teachers are thinking. For example, I was thinking that I would be chosen to answer a question on the board, and he said my index number right there and then. Telephetic ? Or what ? (shrugs)

I'm getting better and better at Tai Ti, a card game. Well, out of 6 games, I won 2? Maybe it was luck. Pure luck. I don't know. Luck, as you call it, is too mystical. Better stick to the old saying of 'Luck comes only if you are hardworking.' Well, maybe.

Lately, I have been thinking of someone. I don't know that person will ever know, but the more I think about it, I can't pull that person out of my mind. Well, I don't think that person will ever know. I better keep it that way then. (sigh)

Bye blog.

Holidays. Are they really holidays?

Holidays are initialized by 2 letters, R & R. Rest and relaxation, the two words that equals holidays. However, word is going around in my school that with tons and tons of work and no end to supplementary lessons. What is holiday, when you have this jind of schedule?

Well, take yesterday for example. The whole of Secondary 3 Express was supposed to attend lessons in school at 8am in the morning. Our class, was to merge with Sec 3e1 for Social Studies lessons. We were all tired by the end of the 2 hours of Social Studies as it was heavy. Then we had a break of 30 minutes, before going into another 3 whole hours of Physics and Chinese lessons. Good right?

Oh, if it helps, I had a new haircut ! Nice, right ? Well, I will be putting my pictures on the internet, so for easier access for you guys out there.

I fell sick yesterday, due to some stuffy air at the tuition centre, I had to take two pills of Panadol. Wonders of Panadol, it made me so dizzy until I fell asleep early, and woke up really refreshed.

Feeling refrershed now, I'm going to do some things. ~Adios !

Relationships. The meaning about it.

I am writing this piece of statement due to the enormous amount of thinking I have gone through over the last few days. I will not know if I will be hurting anyone in this piece, but I will be writing this piece anyway.

Relationships. I am talking about what a boy and a girl comes together and recognise each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not the other family, or social relationship. The *love* relationship.

I have no objection on what other people think of this relationship, but after going through two relationships, I have decided to stop. Yes, stop at least till after 'O'-level. And no chasing skirts. Just a mutual relationship. Let me tell you why.

The first relationship I had was with a girl I knew from secondary. Although she didn't strike me as pretty during that year, she has grown into a swan in Secondary 3. She was having a problem, and during the days that I chatted with her, it turned into something more different. It became love.

She was all ready for it, and I was like the Gladiator. Yes, the word is Gladiator. I prompted her to break up with her current love, due to the fact that he was hurting her more than anything else.

It was beautiful when it lasted. We chatted a lot, and we were deeply in love. No one knew we in this relationship, but it was fun. Different schools, different backgrounds, different people, but united and entwined under the Cupid God.

But due to a lot of consequences, I initiated the break-up. I wanted more on my studies, and she was the same too. We had to break apart after this, but not under the most painful circumstances.

Yes, I was still loving her, but priorities are priorities. I had to study, and she had to. To that girl, who might / might not read this piece, I am still thinking of you.

Then came a time of inactivity. Yes, I was single once, and during that time, I was feeling okay, after recovering from this relationship. I was not that mature in the first one, and I didn't want to hurt anyone any longer. Any longer.

Then came the second relationship. This time around, the feeling was mutual. She liked me, and I liked her. It was only a matter of time whether who asked first. I did.

We went on a whirlwind relationship, and we were extremely happy. We were all very very happy, and we were deeply in love. Smiling all day, we were almost mistaken as a lunatic couple at times. That was how happy and loving we were.

However, the exam period came. It was a period of little communication. LITTLE. We rarely talked and she sensed a different part of me. A whole new different part to me. And she wanted out. I could sensed it, due to her quietness. I was also to be blamed on certain things, but I am sad that things have to be gone this way.

I was heart-broken. Anyway, I left under a different light, different from what we first met. Thus from this I formed a BIG conclusion.

I formed the conclusion that girls needs a lot of attention. And I mean a lot. They need constant attention from the males, and thus feel insecure. They are a distraction to studies, because lets admit guys, we are NOT multi-tasking people. We cannot concentrate on two things simultaneously. We need to concentrate our studies. Really.

The last thing is that I want to say something. To a certain girl, I treat you like a sister. Well, a very close sister. I wish that we are somewhat closer, and not you having this sense of me *liking* you. Okay ? Thanks.

*Results* [*Gulp*]

The results are back, and well, I'm better off dead. Sincerely speaking, I have attained a result that even my own conscience will puke at. (Sigh)

Well, let me tell you the bad news first. My L1R5 is a miserable 19. 19. Where can you go with this kind of result ? (SRJC, Jurong JC are nice choices.) However, my ultimate aim is to get to VJC ! How am I going to get there with this kind of result ? Looks like I have to work extremely hard. Hard, like never before. (Maybe comparable with my PSLE days.)

Okay, that ends the bad news. The good news, or rather the shocking ones. In my class, I have performed to a unbelieveable 7th in class. 7th ! That's shocking, or it means that my class has peformed badly. Very badly for that matter. What was worse was the level positioning. I got 63rd in the whole school ! So the whole school did badly. (I don't know.) Anyway, I need comments. Do my score need MAJOR improvement or do my school need a MAJOR improvement?

Okay, looks like my holidays are booked with studies. I promise you to have better grades next year.

~Words and their meanings ...

I have been under a huge amount of training over the last few days and my knowledge of words, though small, have been improving these days. Well, I'm not actually boasting, but being able to know extra words, it's a huge advantage. =)

First, starting with the name of my blog.
* Dichotomy - Division into two opposed groups or parts.
* Pusillanimous - (Formal) Timid and cowardly
* Animacule - Microscopic animal
* Animadvert - Speak one's opinion without fear or hesitation
* Magnum - A wine bottle holding two quarts/ 1.5 litres
* Magnum Opus - A great work, especially a literary or artistic masterpiece

Well, I feel that information will be better shared that kept alone. So, smile .. =)

Life started anew ...

The air is getting fresher, with the green grass on my side now. Ever since she left, I felt a loss, a big one. However, what I have received instead is the new perspective of life, being up and down, being unpredictable. Well, this is the life I lead, and I will lead it meaningfully. This is the time of a person where he learns, from mistakes in the past, to be a better person in the future. Let's hope I will be happier, and leave my old blog as my past. Ahead we go, I say.